To be sure, there were some snafus & stuff that didn’t work out as well as I hoped - but I have ridiculously high expectations :-) But it was pretty ambitious, all said and done, and the most important parts worked out great & the stuff I was most worried about turned out to be the most fun.
Interviewers: And you made up your whole event? How did that work out?
K: We pulled it off!
Let’s be clear: it was a TON of work. Doing it “our way” and not following the typical wedding template meant we planned everything from scratch…which caused confusion for some folks, including us. What *was* typical, though, is that we argued, like all couples do, about important (and some not-so-important) things. I valued the process (almost) as much as the result.
We didn’t set out to do this, but at one point I realized we hosted over 300 people for six events spread across three days. It went off almost without a hitch… mostly because ‘Deep was an INEXHAUSTIBLE planner. I have worked in events for many years (and generally avoid organizing them now) so was amazed at how he thought of every last detail. Sometimes it drove me a little crazy, but it more than paid off (and then some). Thank you again, Pookums!
D: Maybe a little less than K, I didn’t set out to do a non-traditional wedding. I just wanted one that meant something to me. And that meant lots of fun, big tent, zany goodness & it meant local & bikey in a low-carbon kinda way. It also meant really figuring out what marriage means to me & saying it in front of everyone in a way that represented us. It became pretty ambitious because both of us are enthusiasm-based organisms & we jumped on every great idea that bubbled up & said “Let’s do that TOO!” Eventually that led to paralysis & collapse - which turned out to be a good thing, because that got us to figure out what was really essential to both of us & we did those things…. And it was awesome!
Interviewers: So what were your favorite bits?
A few favorite things, in no particular order, were:
- We didn’t know each other’s remarks or vows before hearing them at the ceremony.
- Henna! Our henna artist incorporated both Indian and Chinese marriage motifs, peacocks and the Chinese double happiness character, into the design. It was amazing to have a unique and meaningful piece of temporary art on my body, and I was really sad when it faded.
- The bike ride was probably my favorite activity because friends and family who don’t bike around San Francisco were able to understand why I’ve come to love it. Plus, the Conservatory of Flowers has been one of my favorite spots in the city since I was a child.
- Wearing my grandmother’s WASP (Women’s Air Force Service Pilot) pin on the zipper of my wedding dress was my favorite small detail - I wanted her to be with me, even though she passed away almost exactly one year earlier.
D: My favorite bits were the bike parade, and the ceremony itself.
We delegated the bike parade to a couple of friends (Dan & John!) and they nailed it! It was so well organized and so much fun. I had been worried about how a lot of newbie-bicyclists from all over the country/world would handle it & our friends made it not only easy, but also a true joy.
And the ceremony was the kind of thing where I think the words both of us said, in the vows and especially in our remarks, really turned out to be worthwhile and meaningful. I think Kimberly’s wedding remarks really effected me & reminded me once again what a ridiculously lucky guy I am.
Honestly, i also loved all the crafts projects in the lead up, as much as they were a ton of work. The moment we hung the big glitter sign in the window was were it all clicked into place in my head & I realized it was really happening & it was going to be awesome.
Interviewers: And how did the public aspect of it work out?
K: One of biggest perks of a public wedding has been meeting so many new people. We’ve already met a ton of neighbors though the parklet, but now folks in the ‘hood have another excuse to say hello and introduce themselves - because they were at our wedding! By including them, they now include us. That connection is stronger, and more touching, than I expected.
D: Just great! Having our wedding at Sunday Streets was such a no-brainer in hindsight - it just tied together soo much for us. And having a party with everyone around you sets a tone that I really cherish. I try to bring that to a lot of things in my life and it always pays off so much more than it is a problem.
Interviewers: What kinda stuff went wrong? Any regrets?
D: PLENTY! :-) Not regrets, but plenty of things went wrong :-) The biggest was in the planning stages - we hired a wedding coordinator AFTER we had run ourselves ragged and done a lot of heavy lifting we should have left to someone else. That being said Christine did a GREAT job & was a huge win. The other biggest snafu was at dinner - we really intended to sit in the middle of the room & when that didn’t happen, it felt like we were more separate from half our guests (Sorry y’all!)
Interviewers: How was the honeymoon?
D: K insisted that we go somewhere warm & beachy - but not interesting enough that we’d feel an intense need to “go see and do everything” - so we went to Miami. It was glorious:
So how’s being married?
K: People keep asking what I think about married life. Actually, *deciding* to get married - getting engaged - was a much bigger shift in our relationship than getting married. That said, there is a subtle, and more important, feeling of contentment and satisfaction - and new depth and dimension to my feelings. I get a little thrill every time I say the words “my husband”. :)